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The Humans of Keeniverse
Author: KeenRushDate: June 25th, 2004
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This is a small article about the humans, or human-like creatures that can be seen in the Commander Keen universe (that is called Keeniverse in some circles).

Of course, all this information written here is not probably valid, or more specific, probably not what the iD Software (or Tom Hall) meant. I'm assuming many things.

So. What makes something creature human-like? I'd say overall figure, look and behaviour. Probably all that one can look and say "that looks pretty much like human" or actually think as human, purposefully or not. For example in some sci-fi movie if there is humans in a galaxy far away and so on, and even if it isn't said they actually are humans, if they just look like humans or are played by real human actors, we automaticly think they're humans. And if we see some human-like android, we think "that machine's almost like real human" or something. Or well, depends. But enough of that, it is hard to tell what is human or not to mention defining humanity. And some people value those things more than anything -- and on the contrary, some people think one human 'race', defined by skin colour for example, is better than another one and don't care anything about the other human 'races'. And some don't care a garg about those "mental wimps".

I repeat once more, humans (or human-like creatures) listed here aren't necessarily humans (or human-like). Things can really be surprising and different, but we don't know since The Universe Is Toast still isn't released...

So, let's start with the most obvious one -- Commander Keen, the defender of the Universe. We all know Commander Keen is an alter-ego of eight years old genius, Billy Blaze. Billy's pretty smart, with IQ of 314 points. At least since the last tests. It probably has increased on his adventures, so it might be a lot more in Omegamatic than it was on Vorticon IV. Keen (I use 'Keen' instead of 'Billy') lives in a quiet suburb, with his parents, older brother and little sister. It isn't said much about his brother, only that Keen dons his football helmet to his adventures. And Keen's sister isn't mentioned anywhere else than in "Eat Your Veggies!"-lyrics made by Bobby Prince. But Keen fans generally think Keen has this sister, since she has been mentioned in those lyrics, and Prince made music for these games. Keen's folks are mentioned more in the story, and you can even see Billy's rain-soaked parents in the ending screens of Keen 5 (and a bit of them in Keen 4 ending as well).

Next, Mortimer McMire. Keen's villain that annoys and teases Billy because his IQ is one point bigger than Billy's 314. This Mr. 315 hates basicly all forms of life, "mental wimps", and wants to destroy the whole Universe. Good thing Keen tries to stop him. Bad thing is that The Universe Is Toast isn't yet released and we haven't seen the extra funky ultimate battle between those two geniuses... On some fan fiction Mortimer has been a shikadi, a scary evil energy shadow being from the far side of the Galaxy. That would be interesting twist in the story, and would fit very well since Mort has connections with the Shikadi... Much isn't known about Mortimer's family. Only that he has big sister called Molly. Molly happens to be Billy's baby-sitter! (I wouldn't wonder if she is just some android built to gather information about Billy's life...)

Next, the Gnosticine Ancients. They live on Gnosticus IV, and they can operate the machine of ancient wisdom, Oracle. In Keen 4 they are captured and trapped to Shadowlands, to make sure they couldn't operate the Oracle. They are very old, and impossible to kill or harm physically because they are immortal. They can walk through flames and breathe under the water.
They are members of High Council. In the Oracle chamber they are helped by Council Page. That Council Page can't remember name 'Commander' and calls Keen always 'Captain Keen'. Billy doesn't like that... Probably there are also more humans or human-like creatures in the city the Oracle is located.

Then, no other than the mysterious princess of Shadowlands, Princess Lindsey. Lindsey is probably some years older than Billy, and on many fan fictions it is common that Keen has a small crush on her... Lindsey gives useful tips, and seems to know Shadowlands very well. She can either turn invisible or do somekind of teleportation -- I don't know which one it is. More info isn't known.

Is there more? If there is, I can't remember at the moment. Also, as I said this article was short. This is interesting subject in my Keen opinion, and I would like to write more. But not this time, since I'm busy and lazy. But you can be sure, some time I will write more about these things.

Billy says: "Crush?! Lindsey? No... She's just nice. I mean I don't know her!! Erh,
I meant that... Um... Why do you think... Uh... I don't even..." *blush*

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