Floating Objects: Myth or Gravity-Defying?

- By Ilsoap

Here, we shall investigate the strange phenomenon common to ALL Keen games, where objects, such as chocoloate bars, pop cans and bags of sugar, float stationary above the surface of the ground.
The first question that we must ask is, are these objects real at all? For that answer, we will look at the objects' "behaviour". When Keen first discovers these objects (generally food items), they are just sitting in one place. However, once they contact Keen, they immediately disappear, and in their place, yellow numbers are created.

Now, I happen to know that when I go to a store and buy a chocolate bar or a book or something like that, the only brightly colored numbers that appear are created in the cash register. And as we notice that Keen doesn't carry any of these food items around with him, it can be deduced that Keen eats them as soon as he finds them.

What does this mean? It means that these objects are holograms! If Keen really did eat them, by the end of the game, he wouldn't be a superhero! HE WOULD BE SUFFERING FROM DIARRHEA!! (and in dire need of Jenny Craig).

Don't believe me? Then consider that if he ate all that he could in Hillville alone, he would have eaten at least five gobstoppers, six doughnuts, thirteen chocolate bars and an ice cream cone, not to mention being completely drenched with twenty Keen-sized rain drops! And he still has time to talk to Princess Lindsey (why she floats is a question for another day).

So where did these things come from? Well, you may recall from Keen 1 that to inhabitants of Mars (and other planets), toys and food are sacred objects. The likely theory is that what you see in the Keen games is the attempt by aliens to produce these "holy" objects. However, others have suggested that the Voricons (and later the Shikadi) WERE successful in making toys, and the objects Keen sees are just the rejects. It is likely that no one will ever know for certain (except Mortimer McMire, but when we tried to interview him he was, as usual, unwilling to comment).


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